Cancer

Monday – we heard it. Cancer. My mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s a small lump, operable and treatable. However it is the first time someone in my immediate family has heard the C-word.

I know God is able. I know that He is the great physician. I know that He is in control of all things. I know that He can see the “Big Picture.” I know that His ways are higher. I know that nothing is wasted with God. I also know that God knows everything.

I also know that my mom has breast cancer. I know that she is facing surgery. I know she has scheduled an appointment with the surgeon of choice next Wednesday. I know that there are now two times in our family’s life – pre and post cancer.

My mom is the rock in our family. She is the prayer warrior. She is the one who visits people in the hospital. She is the encourager. She maintains the sanity in our family. She is the one who keeps us on track and today our world is shaken.

Today Mom told us how God has been teaching her through this experience. He has told her that He is holding her hand. He gave her that verse and He has demonstrated to her though out her journey so far that He is right there with her.

He is also here with me.

Thank you so much for praying for me and my family through this time.

So I’m thinking . . . Actually I am analyzing myself.

I love to be funny. I love to make people laugh. I once heard one of The Cosby Show actors say that Bill Cosby told them to go for the funny. I loved that show and often aspire to do just that – go for the funny.

Now I don’t have a malicious bone in my body – I truly just want people to laugh. I think that when we laugh we forget things for just a few moments. I believe laughter relieves stress and helps us feel better.

However today, one of my colleagues, dare I say, friend was hurt by what I said when I “went for the funny.” He later apologized stating that he may have overreacted, but went on to say that I have a tendency to take things too far.

This is not the first time someone has told me this. Although to date, it has only been two people. I have tried to change. I have tried to be self-aware of those who may be offended by my humor. I have tried to stop myself from “crossing the line.” Yet in today’s instance – I don’t even see where I was near the line – let alone crossing it.

I have discussed my personality with many people. I am who I am. I am the way I am. This is usually where the conversation and discussion winds up. Yet, today I was faced with the realization that we are all different. While, I truly believe I treat all of my friends and colleagues the same, some are more sensitive than others and I have to adjust to that.

Why do I always have to adapt?

Yesterday, I had an incident with a high school senior who basically dodged a trig quiz using a yearbook photo as her cover. When I confronted her, she was very defensive. An assistant principal saw our exchange and offered to assist. This morning, when I stopped by to thank him for his assistance, he explained that he tried to talk with her about her choices, and what I was trying to say. In the end, he said, “You’ve been doing this teaching thing for a while and you know – seniors are scared. They have no plans after graduation. Really she was just scared and she dropped all of that at your feet.”

So my question is when do I get to be the one who is scared? We are told our students have bad days. When do I get to have a bad day? When will it matter that when I woke up, A, B, and C were wrong, but I still came to work, and I didn’t have time to drop off my baggage either?

Sorry that was selfish – but I think we all feel this way. So hopefully you will feel better about yourself as you read this. Hopefully, when you pray, you will pray for me and my attitude.

Because really we are all in this together . . .